Smile Like Your Life Depends On It
“A smile can relax hundreds of muscles in your face and relax your nervous system. A smile makes you master of yourself.”
I know you suffer, so do I.
If you are having a similar human experience to me, these past months have been quite challenging. What I am about to share is not intended to “get rid of” (bypass) ANY of these challenges, instead I hope it provides the tools to experience these challenges even more intimately.
Regardless of what you are experiencing in this moment, take a moment to bring a small smile to your lips. This doesn’t need to be a “real” smile, simply curve the edges of your lips into an artificial smile (and perhaps allow the corners of the eyes to wrinkle). Now, maintaining that smile, take three deep breaths. Breathing in like you are smelling a flower, and breathing out like you are blowing out a candle.
…
Notice how your state has shifted, even if it’s subtle. For when we manufacture a smile, it relaxes hundreds of muscles in our face and brings ease to the nervous system. This phenomenon is called the “Facial Feedback Hypothesis” (the idea that your facial expressions can influence your emotional experience). (1)
While the smile may begin artificially, you can ALWAYS find something to smile about in the present moment.
A quote that has been lingering in my mind recently is one from Gregory David Roberts’ novel Shantaram, which I will paraphrase here: “[my friend] smiled like it was the most important thing he would ever do, and one day I would find out he was right…”
For when we move through the world with an authentic smile on our face, it brings us peace, and lets others know that we are present in this moment with them.
🛠️ 4 Tools for “Mindful Smiling”:
(guided above) “When you realize you’re irritated, half-smile at once. Inhale and exhale quietly, maintaining the half smile for three breaths.” (Thich Nhat Hanh)
Smiling During Meditation: If you have ever attended one of my meditations, this will sound very familiar. When we meditate, it is only natural that our mind will wander. It can be very challenging to not experience frustration or judgment in these moments. The most powerful tool I know for this moment is a simple smile. When you notice your mind has wandered, bring a gentle smile to your face and use it as an opportunity to find your way back to the point of awareness. This smile helps you relate with yourself with loving curiosity, rather than judgment, which helps promote a kinder relationship with our human predicament.
Savoring Breath: Due to our primal negativity bias, we rarely pause to savor the good moments of our days, and as a result we often forget most of the wonder in our days. The great Tara Brach teaches how we can manually overcome this challenge. When we experience something positive, no matter how small, bring a small smile to your face and take five breaths where you only focus on savoring that moment and its multitude of pleasant sensations. This intentional 30-second pause has been proven to increase the vividness and sensory detail in your longer-term memory. Whenever I use this practice, I find it fascinating to notice how after 2–3 breaths the mind almost always drifts from savoring to “figuring something out” or “making something happen.” When this happens simply use it as an opportunity to find your way back to savoring the moment. (3)
4-Part Smiling Breath: This practice is one of my favorites for both challenging moments AND easeful moments that you would like to experience deeper. First you inhale thinking “as I breathe in, I calm my body,” then as you exhale “as I breathe out, I smile,” bringing a gentle smile to your face. For the next inhale “I am in the present moment,” recognizing you are in fact here and now, and then finally as you exhale “oh how this is a wonderful moment,” recognizing things you are authentically grateful for in this moment. (Thich Nhat Hanh)
Recommended Reading
Peace is Every Step by Thich Nhat Hanh (a beautiful entry point into his teachings)
Shantaram by Gregory David Roberts (an epic novel laced with deep spiritual insight)
Behind This Essay: Sources & Notes
(1) Facial Feedback Hypothesis
https://pmc.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/articles/PMC5816132/
(2) Savouring the Present to Better Recall the Past
https://dau.url.edu/bitstream/handle/20.500.14342/4915/Savouring the Present to Better Recall the Past.pdf?sequence=1&isAllowed=y
(3) Tara Brach’s teaching came from one of her podcasts: https://open.spotify.com/show/37McjD0j2cdu4GExcFQgm0?si=ddc702417fe34e4c
(4) More than any other teacher, Thich Nhat Hanh's teachings inspired this essay most.
(5) AI Use: This essay was edited minimally using ChapGPT. The following prompts were the only ones used: “Change as little as possible while improving the grammar and punctuation (providing me a list of common errors for me to learn from).” & "Add a tl;dr at the start and ensure to promote my weekly meditation group where appropriate."
